“Wow, she’s really into this”

She put on some lace and a garter
To go for a romp in the larder
When she’d had quite enough
Of the whips and the cuffs
She demurred, but her safe word was “harder”
 
 
I tried so hard (heh), but ultimately failed, to incorporate the word “ardor” into this limerick.

Happy Pi Day!

TWO limericks today!
 
 
Want my recipe for a good pie?
First you measure the crust and here’s why:
The circumference when o’er
The diameter sure
Will give you transcendental delight
 
 
Pi seems magical but it is real
It holds universal appeal
Statistics, mechanics
And thermodynamics
Cosmology, fractals—what zeal!

“Man,” he thought, “Io her one.”

The astronomer started to strip her
Removed his Kuiper belt, loosed his zipper
She did not expect a
Large mass of ejecta
From moments atop his big dipper

Too bad she only had 15 hours

Ever flaccid, a hard dick he lacked
So she killed him but left him intact
Rigor mortis began
She went through with her plan
She got off and he didn’t retract